Sword Art Online promotes the second of its problems to the lofty top spot – making the transition of being predominantly terrible, to foremost moronic instead, and subsequently delivering that stupidity poorly.
Devastation reigns upon the foolish protagonist – being back in reality seems to be a nightmare for Kirito as he’s a loser now forced to face the “real world”, as well as the loss of all his fictional wealth. His virtual gold, girls, and status are all gone – and the harsh truth that he’s merely an irrelevant “nobody” outside of an online dating game quickly leaves his soul faint, and mind short of shattering.
Yet it’s not all so tragic, it seems he’s reacquainted with the pseudo-imouto of his for whom he’s hardly ever cared for – likely as she’s not of his preferred type of girl; 2-D; fictional; and ready to take “two years worth of semen” glopping down her; preferences all learned within Sword Art Online’s first light novel volume.
Although admittedly, it does look that our protagonist now has a greater appreciation for this girl – going from thinking little to nothing of her, to now realizing that she’s truly a valuable family member as he can take advantage of her to enjoy his make-believe swordplay some more in the “real world”, a dream come true. The girl practices kendo, and whilst she was occupied with that, the protagonist comes and asks to spar – seemingly eager to show off all the skills he’s learned from playing an RPG, believing himself to have become an expert just like a kid would.
Of course however, given that this is the series where the protagonists are an elite class, immune to death, winning even when losing, and surrounded by members of the opposite gender, it appears that Kirito has indeed magically become a master swordsman from all the one-frame kills achieved in his favorite RPG game.
After a while of one-frame combat, the loser eventually has to call it quits since he’s apparently still physically weak despite his protagonist superpowers which look to mainly apply only in RPG games. Kirito then prepares to head out – having been in a coma for years, it seems our protagonist’s priority list ranks visiting his online girlfriend immediately after reenacting imaginary battles, evidently forgetting that the bond of family is one which will care for you even if you’re a social outcast who bases your life around RPG games.
The protagonist departs to make a visit to his local virtual body fluid bank, Asuna – all the while, explicitly mentioning some excuses in his mind as to how he learned her whereabouts, hilariously saying he exchanged information about an RPG game with a government organization in return for the holding place of his pixel wife.
Now even with how idiotic all has been so far, this part of the episode breaks the floor under the weight of fatuity. Kirito enters the hospital room of his digital lover, who is still trapped within an online world apparently – and whilst he’s hovering over her in melancholy, one of her family members, likely her father, arrives and simply greets Kirito as if well-familiar with the fellow.
It seems in Sword Art Online, with protagonist credentials, a father will even trust a random stranger to be all alone with their sickly and hospitalized daughter. Even assuming Kirito explained the matter to her father, one wouldn’t have thought that, besides Kirito, this series had characters so imbecilic, they would gullibly be quick to believe any far-fetched tale that comes their way. For all that fellow knows, Kirito may be a maniacal stalker who intends to rape his daughter – yet thankfully, he’s not, he’s just a creep obsessed with a girl he “married” in an RPG game.
Tough for the petty protagonist however, it seems there’s someone just as twisted as himself – a senile fellow with a vehement fetish for paralyzed girls has apparently seduced all the appropriate individuals so he can hold an actual matrimony with a girl in a coma, stealing Kirito’s love away from him, and showing him that “real world” romance triumphs over RPG love.
Since he’s not almighty inside of the real world, Kirito goes home and does the only thing he can do when it comes to handling his real world problems, he cries like a baby – bawling his eyes out that someone is going to take his 2-D wife from him. Yet to account for this horrible tragedy, Sword Art Online starts to show the potential of incestual romance – and immediately begins to make use of this oppai service character it has introduced, Kritio’s pseudo-sister.
Under rejoice that the first meaningful side-character has been added to the cast, the oppai fanfare girl, this may have been the first episode of Sword Art Online not totally worthless.