With 12 episodes of totally irrelevant side-story in between, Sword Art Online finishes the tale introduced within the first – and according to the man who created the game himself, the purpose of it all was nothing.
After Guilty Crown, one had to ask themselves “will there ever be another anime series this horrible?” – and apparently, yes, there certainly is.
This 14th atrocity initiates with an insulting mess – a legion of pathetic losers continue their efforts to kill a digital monster against whom they clearly stand no chance. And we’re not merely shown the usual one frame fight scene – we’re showered with an Armageddon of single still frames. It’s not even reminiscent to PowerPoint – rather, it’s a complete intercession of a PowerPoint presentation in the midst of the series, each with slashes of vivid color traveling across them as if intended to represent some kind of movement.
Save the ridicule and laughter for later however, the series is set to get hysterical.
Past the opening sequence, everyone is moping around – mortified by how their friends’ side-character status was not enough to shield them from death. Yet suddenly, the protagonist decides to run up to the red guild leader and make a jab at him with his blade. The fellow turns out to have been the game’s creator – and subsequently, goes into a lengthy monologue about the fun of an MMORPG and whatnot.
For a genius, the game’s creator is seemingly quite a fool for the obvious reason that based on this series alone, we would never know the fun of an MMO. If anything, Sword Art Online has merely gone to show that even social outcasts can successfully find love on the internet – and lonely middle-aged men can resort to mass-murder, or making themselves popular in a game, instead of simply finding something productive in reality.
Come to think of it however, this fellow who devised Sword Art Online has managed to do both – a true inspiration for all the children who turn giddy over this series.
After the meaningless jabber, it’s not even appropriate to keep referring to these scenes as “fights” any more – an exchange of single still frames occurs between the protagonist, and the game creator, the latter of whom effortlessly deflects all single frames of the former.
And while the game creator cast a spell on the whiny heroine to make her temporarily invincible by Kirito’s request so her worthless life kindles for a while longer, on top of the fact that he paralyzed everyone within the room, she apparently seems to have learned a lot from Kirito and utilizes her inner protagonist power – somehow breaking through both spells of the game master and jumping in front of Kirito as he was going to be slashed in half, dying in his place.
The protagonist breaks down – as now, the only person to ever love him, an assembly of pixels representing a girl equally as pitiful as himself, has perished. He loses the will to live – which aside from making the sacrifice of the female lead entirely vain and pointless as he begins dawdling his dual blades around like twigs before being stabbed to death, also shows that he’s some senile freak who believes the death of a videogame character is something to end his life over.
What ever happened to making a struggle to return to reality, or his evidently extraneous little sister he once mentioned? He’s seemingly forgot them all long ago.
Yet don’t forget, Kirito is a protagonist. As one will notice, unlike everyone else who vanishes immediately upon their defeat in Sword Art Online, protagonist class characters are resistant to death. The series gives no logical explanation whatsoever for any of this – though at least those who are earnestly curious behind what happens needn’t worry as one can be sure that a more desperate few fans of the light novel will be quick to wail about what the light novel says.
Nonetheless, the loser turns transparent, although still lives – he sticks around much longer than he should and stabs the game creator, at which point, all goes white. And at this point, it seems one may have seriously misjudged this series – protagonists aren’t resistant to death, they’re completely immune. In Sword Art Online, protagonists don’t die even when they’re killed.
Kirito and his harlot find themselves somewhere in the sky – and the game creator is there as well. Now although Kirito was enraged like a little kid earlier, furious at the game creator for allowing so many expendable side-character to die – Kirito seemingly forgets all of that once the game creator starts speaking. Don’t be too harsh on Kirito however, he’s not the only character of this series with a mental deficiency.
As it turns out, the game’s very creator doesn’t even know why he himself bothered pouring so much effort into making Sword Art Online – literally admitting himself he doesn’t know the reason behind why he made the game. And when asked of the 4000 or so who have been selfishly killed – they’re essentially labelled collateral damage.
In spite of the heavy emphasis on 10,000 people stranded in a virtual world within episode one, this 14th round of disgust confirms what we’ve seen over the course of the previous 12, there never was a point to any of it. The game creator didn’t even know why he did anything.
And with that, Kirito awakens back to reality – a frail reject who has at least gained something valuable during his time in Sword Art Online. From before, he had nothing – he had no friends, and he was lonely, a total discard of society. However now, Kirito’s life has changed entirely – he can get people to feel sorry for him once they learn he’s a refugee of an online videogame, going from the ranks of nobody, to a pitiable creature.
On top of that, he’ll be remembered forever – protagonist of the worst series of all-time.